Jennifer Brum Counselling

Healing from Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, & Grief

Jennifer Brum

Overcoming PTSD One Step At A Time

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On February 19th, 2017 a dedicated team of 7 runners and 6 support volunteers travelled to Port Hardy, Vancouver Island, BC, to prepare for the 4th annual Wounded Warrior Run BC (WWRUN BC) event. This event, co-founded by Allan Kobayashi and Dan Bodden, is an annual relay-style run that raises funds and awareness around Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I had the pleasure of joining this campaign for the 3rd year in a row as a volunteer photographer.

The 2017 team includes currently serving military members, reservists, veterans, Police, First Nations and non-military members. One thing each member has in common is a huge heart filled with hope and compassion for those who are struggling with post traumatic stress. By the second day, this team became a family who supported eachother through the highs and lows of this emotional and physically exhausting journey. It was, as it always has been, a beautiful thing to be a part of.

The team began with a cold and dark kick-off at the crack of dawn from the brand new Port Hardy cenotaph. The team was surrounded by the warmth of many supporters. Over the next 7 consecutive days, the team ran in excess of 700km’s as they made their way to Victoria. At each legion they were met, quite literally, with open arms. Bellies were filled, donations were generously presented, stories were vulnerably shared, and strength and energy was restored for the next leg.

The weather at times was quite challenging. We were met with icy roads, heavy snowfall, rain…it was perfect, really. The difficulty of the journey is representative of the difficulty of living with PTSD.

On February 26th, our Wounded Warrior Run “family” was received with tremendous support and a fabulous ceremony and celebration at the Langford Legion BR#91. Donations are still coming in and are being tallied! On behalf of the WWRUN BC team, I would like to say thank you to everyone who supported us, financially or otherwise, on this journey. If you would like to make a donation please see the link below.

Warmly,

Jennifer Brum

Wounded Warriors Canada is a non-profit organization that helps first responders as well as Canadian Forces members, serving and retired, who have been wounded or injured in their service to Canada. Their primary focus is on mental health and, particularly, the staggering impact of PTSD and Operational Stress Injuries. Donations can be made through the Wounded Warriors Canada website.

Why Pink Should Be Your Colour On February 22, 2017

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With Pink Shirt Day just around the corner I felt it was an opportune time to reflect on the importance of education around bullying. Sadly, no one is exempt from the experience of bullying. It’s something we can all relate to in one way or another. Whether your experience has been as the victim, the perpetrator, or the witness it can have long term physical and psychological consequences.

By definition, bullying is the repeated use of force, threat or coercion to abuse, intimidate or embarrass others with the intent to harm. Bullying can happen to anyone at any age and may be in person or, in this day and age, through cyberbullying.

Up to 25% of students report having been bullied at some point in their lives – some with very severe outcomes. The devastating effects of bullying include physical and emotion pain, humiliation, embarrassment, and shame. Without support the individual may resort to social isolation, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. They also may struggle with anger, aggression or hostility. Bullying can even lead to suicidal ideation, suicide, or violent behavior.

The added stress and anxiety caused by bullying and harassment obviously adds to the challenge of learning. Students have difficulty concentrating, a decreased ability to focus and they can’t seem to remember things that they’ve learned. So not only are they maladjusted on a social and emotional level, they may also struggle academically as well.

Often the bystanders are also hurt as they witness bullying. They may be in fear of being the next victim and leave feeling guilty or shameful for not stepping in. Or, they may avoid getting involved because they just aren’t sure what to do. In some cases witnesses may feel like they will only make it worse for the individual being bullied if they try to help. Talk to your kids about what they can do to stay safe and help others.

There are signals to be aware of that can alert parents to a potential bullying situation. Be curious if you notice your child has withdrawn from family and school activities, wants to be left alone, or has an unusual amount of shyness. He or she may claim to suffer with stomachaches and/or headaches, and possibly has panic attacks. They may not be able to sleep, sleep too much, seem exhausted, or suffer with nightmares. There is also potential for substance abuse as it provides an escape from their painful experiences.

It is incredibly important for adults/parents to set a good example and be a good role model. Research has shown that children who get away with violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. There will be a higher chance of dating aggression, sexual harassment, gangs, drugs, and other criminal behavior later in life. Take the time to talk about consequences and taking responsibility for your own actions. Be curious about why someone chooses to bully others and offer support. There’s always a reason behind the behavior and often it’s a call out for love.

Starting at a young age we must teach and model empathy, compassion, kindness, acceptance and understanding. Let children know that there will be no tolerance for bullying and why it’s so important to treat one another as you would like to be treated.

Each of us deserve to feel safe in the world. If you are being bullied, know of someone who is, or you are a bully yourself, there are resources to help. Contact me to schedule counselling sessions or find support using one of the resources listed below.

Phone
Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868

Text
I Am Someone
Text 211

Chat
Youth in BC

Wishing you a gentle journey,

Jennifer Brum

How to Use Your Sensory Skills to “Self-Rescue”

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While experiencing a traumatic incident our nervous system responds with a fight, flight or freeze mode.  If this trauma response is interrupted and unable to complete it becomes the “go to” response when triggers arise in the future.

Common unresolved trauma symptoms include frightening thoughts, flashbacks, feeling tense or on edge, having negative thoughts about oneself or the world and distorted thoughts like guilt or blame. These symptoms can be extremely debilitating. The nervous system reverts back to that unresolved trauma response even if they are safe in the present time.  It’s helpful to have a few tricks up your sleeve to bring some balance and stability back into the here-and-now.

Grounding techniques have proven useful in building the capacity to “self-rescue”. It is based on the assumption that if one is able to break his or her absorbed internal attention on the traumatic images, thoughts and feelings by instead focusing on and connecting with their current external surroundings through their senses (here-and-now), the accompanying fight/flight arousal will diminish.

The sensory grounding technique below will assist him or her in understanding that they are perfectly safe in their present context. It also demonstrates the value of using their sensory skills (sight, touch, smell, hearing, and even taste) to ground them to this safety in the present empirical reality.

3-2-1 Sensory Grounding Technique

  1. Describe, out loud if possible, 3 objects that you can see in the room that are above eye level.  These must be physical, not imaginal, objects.
  2. Identify, out loud if possible, 3 “real world” sounds that you can currently hear sitting in the room (the sound can be beyond the room).
  3. Pick up an item, really feel it, and describe out loud if possible, the texture of this object. Repeat this with 2 additional objects.
  4. Return to objects that you can see and now identify 2 above eye level. Do the same with 2 things you can hear and 2 things you can feel.
  5. Repeat this now with 1 object each for sight, sound, and texture.
  6. Now consider what happened to the negative feelings, thoughts, and images associated with the traumatic material from before the exercise.  How do you feel?  Have they lessened or disappeared?

I hope you find this technique helpful! If you would like to make an appointment to further discuss techniques to combat trauma symptoms please contact me at www.jenniferbrumcounselling.com. I would be honored to meet with you.

Wishing you a gentle journey,

Jennifer Brum

Technique courtesy of Eric Gentry

PTSD: What You Need To Know

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WHAT DOES PTSD STAND FOR?

PTSD is an acronym for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Increasingly in the media, PTSD is gaining more attention and rightfully so. PTSD is a disorder that can affect anyone – male, female, young, and elderly. In fact, about 10% of Canadians struggle with PTSD at any given time. You may be wondering…what is it anyway? Who does it affect and what are the symptoms? Is it only veterans who end up with PTSD or can anyone “get it”? Read on for a few fast facts about PTSD…

WHAT CAUSES PTSD?

  • Any threat to your safety or even an event that appeared to have been a threat to your safety
  • Any event that overwhelms you with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness especially if it feels unpredictable an uncontrollable.
  • An imminent threat where some form of defensive response is necessary
  • A frightening, shocking, or dangerous event
  • Events such as:
    • Car accidents
    • Serious injury
    • Actual or threatened death of your life or others’ lives
    • Bullying
    • Sexual violation
    • Medical procedures
    • After combat, assault or disaster (PTSD affects nearly 1 in 10 Canadian veterans who served in Afghanistan)

Not everyone who has these experiences end up being diagnosed with PTSD. However, about 8 million adults have PTSD during a given year. Approximately 10% of women develop PTSD in their lives compared to about 4% of men. Some people may have PTSD but don’t realize that’s what it is that they are struggling with.

WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?

Following a particularly traumatic event we often exhibit physical symptoms immediately. But the effects in our brains actually take some time to form. That’s why symptoms of PTSD — reliving an event, nightmares, and anxiety — don’t show up until some time later. These may include:

  • Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the event
  • Avoidance:
    • avoiding thinking or talking about the event
    • avoiding people, places or activities that remind you of the traumatic experience
    • avoiding feelings or thoughts related to the event
  • Difficulty maintaining close relationships
  • Flashbacks, or reliving the event, potentially paired with racing heart and sweating
  • Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
  • Trouble sleeping and/or nightmares
  • Frightening thoughts
  • Increased arousal including feeling tense or on edge, having trouble sleeping, angry outbursts, irritability, aggressive behaviour, and being easily startled or frightened
  • Negative changes in thinking and mood such as:
    • Negative feelings about yourself or others
    • Inability to experience positive emotions
    • Feeling emotionally numb
    • Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
    • Hopelessness about the future
  • Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
  • Always on guard for danger
  • Overwhelming guilt or shame
  • Self-destructive behaviour, such as drinking too much or driving fast
  • Trouble concentrating

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE EFFECTED WHILE OTHERS ARE NOT?

A group of people may experience the same event but they won’t necessarily all end up with PTSD. There are a number of factors that can effect the chances of PTSD including:

  • A complex mix of inherited mental health risks, such as increased anxiety or depression
  • Life experiences including the amount and severity of trauma you’ve gone through since childhood
  • Your temperament
  • The way your body regulates the chemicals and hormones your body releases in response to stress

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I THINK I MIGHT HAVE PTSD?

Post-traumatic stress disorder can be a debilitating condition. If you have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event you may also be experiencing some of the symptoms listed above. If the symptoms don’t go away over time and are disrupting your life you may have PTSD. If this is the case, early treatment is better. Talk to your family doctor and a therapist who specializes in trauma treatment. Confide in a close friend or family member and do your best not to isolate yourself.

There are also ways to alleviate PTSD triggers such as mindfulness techniques, connecting with resources who understand what you are going through and are able to support you in your recovery, and using grounding techniques. If you would like to meet with me to work through your unresolved trauma. I would welcome the opportunity.

If you think you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else call 911 immediately. There is help available, you don’t have to go through this on your own.

Wishing you a gentle journey,

Jennifer Brum

New Year’s Resolutions

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2017’s my year to…not have a New Years Resolution! I don’t know about you but I have mixed feelings about New Year’s Resolutions. On one hand, by setting a goal you increase your chances of success. On the other hand, only 8% of people achieve their New Year’s Resolution. Why not just start the year with a fresh start and live life to the fullest? Or how about a general resolution to work hard, play hard, and practice self care regularly?

If you’re bound and determined to line up a resolution for 2017 then I advise you to set one clear and achievable goal and anticipate the limits of your will power. There’s a very good chance you’ll fall off your horse (for no other reason other than you’re human) and when it happens, shake it off and get back that horse the very next day. Life happens, things change, and critical self judgement often sets in when we don’t end up with the result we had intended to achieve. Don’t let the bumps in the road defeat you. Expect them, accept them, and power forward. Be realistic and don’t expect perfection.

If your resolution is adding too much pressure and making you miserable, weigh up the importance of the resolution and consider how it’s serving you. Is it making your life better or more difficult? How would you feel if you were able to let go of the resolution? Would it make room for more pleasant things in your life such as time with family and friends, self care, a musical instrument you’ve been wanting to pick up, or a hobby you’ve been wanting to return to? What would be the healthy thing to do? After all, the resolution is meant to serve you, and only you. If it’s not working, then you have the power to change that. This is not to admit defeat, but to know yourself, respect yourself, and be brave enough to make change.

Wishing you a gentle journey and an exceptional 2017!

Jen

Taming Your Triggers and Surviving the Holidays

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It’s that time of year again! Christmas carols are belting from every store speaker, inflatable Christmas characters have taken over lawns and front porches, strings of lights are madly twinkling and the media hype is busily increasing expectations and credit card debt. Parties are being planned, cards are being sent, and everyone seems to be on high alert. Yes, holiday turmoil is in the crisp Christmas air…

For some, the Christmas holidays are an enjoyable time filled with loved ones, peace, joy and comfort. Others may prefer to go dashing through the snow to escape the overwhelm, loneliness, sense of unworthiness, abandonment and self doubt. Unfortunately, emotional wounds that have not been addressed or healed tend to rear their ugly heads during the most “jolly” holiday of the year.

So, how do you find emotional balance and personal fulfillment in a season that typically triggers you to no end? Here are a few strategies and suggestions:

1) Take time for self care and carve out some space for yourself. There’s a lot of pressure at this time of year. Keep stress at a manageable level. Exercise promotes the production of mood elevating hormones called endorphins so get out there and raise your heart rate! Eat healthy foods and enjoy the pleasures of Christmas treats using the old rule of moderation.

2) Supportive friends and relatives make us feel we can be ourselves. As family parties can bring on all sorts of triggers designate a support person, such as your spouse or sibling, and discuss what may come up for you at the event. Talk about red flags and how they might come to your assistance when internal chaos is threatening to overwhelm you.

3) People often tend to stuff their feelings and pretend everything is ok. Arrange a daily check-in with your spouse or close friend to discuss things that are bothering you. Use open communication to explore and recognize your feelings, mood shifts, reactions, and what makes you susceptible. Sometimes events as little as the weather, family, visitors, disruptions in routine, and chores can set people off. What can you do to prepare?

4) Have a plan for those days where you’re expecting to be triggered such as Christmas day, family visits and holiday parties. Sometimes pre-scheduling short stays are helpful and having preconceived conversation topics on hand can also be useful.

5) Keep your expectations in check. Keep daily goals manageable and be gentle on yourself and your loved ones when things aren’t going well.

6) Abstain from drinking alcohol or keep it to a minimum. Alcohol is a depressant and can magnify times of sadness and effect our reactions to stress.

7) In those moments when you can feel the pressure building take a moment to stop and breathe. Ground yourself and reach out to your support person.

8) Try out alternatives to family traditions such as outings outside the family home. You may find there will be more holiday cheer and less holiday trigger outside of the typical environment.

9) Change it up! Create your own social event with friends you haven’t seen in awhile and be the host or hostess instead of the guest. Or, do something totally different such as travelling to a destination on your bucket list!

10) Be of service to someone else. Christmas is a time of giving and reconciliation. Helping others can increase feelings of self-worth, usefulness, connection, and inner peace.

There is a 15% increase in people seeking support during the holiday season. If you are experiencing symptoms including a lost appetite, no sleep, hopelessness, and despair, you may benefit in seeking a professional.

And remember, high expectations for special days may lead to hurt and disappointment. Days such as Christmas day, New Years Day, or that big annual party are just days on the calendar. They only hold the importance that you give it.

My hope for you all is that you not only survive the holidays but thrive in them. I wish you all a very merry “trigger-less” Christmas!

Warm Regards,

Jennifer Brum

Violence Against Women is Not Just a Women’s Issue

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On December 6, 1989, 25 year old Mark Lépine walked into the École Polytechnique in Montreal, Quebec and launched a massacre on females. In less than 20 minutes he shot 28 people, killing 14 women, before taking his own life. Lépine had made oral statements of “fighting feminism” and said he blamed feminists for ruining his life. He disliked career women and women in traditionally male occupations. Not only did he have a list of women that he intended to shoot, at one point he systematically separated male and female students. This was clearly an act of gender-based violence and there are a variety of theories why Lépine did what he did but the bottom line is, these 14 people died because they were women.

The injured survivors and witnesses among university staff and students suffered a variety of physical, social, existential, financial, and psychological consequences, including post-traumatic stress disorder. Nine years after the event, survivors reported still being affected by their experiences, though with time some of the effects had lessened. For a number of students, the post-traumatic stress was too much and they have taken their own lives.

In the wake of the massacre, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women was created. This day is intended not only as a day to remember the victims of the December 6th massacre but also as a call to action against discrimination and violence against women around the world. Forms of violence and abuse include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, financial abuse, criminal harassment/stalking, neglect, violence committed to protect the family honour, or forced marriage. We need to work individually and as a whole to eliminate all forms of violence, gender-based or not.

This tragic day initiated change. Emergency response protocol in Canada was improved and there was also a Canadian gun control movement which resulted in more stringent gun control laws. But each and every citizen is also responsible for making change. Individual actions will help develop a society that is respectful towards women. Help victims to speak out and support survivors to heal. Society teaches us to keep a stiff upper lip, man up, and get over it. Unfortunately, this is a recipe for deeper wounds that will take longer to heal. Whether male or female, young or old, there should be no shame in reaching out for support and expressing grief and pain.

When researching this event it saddened me to read that males were made to feel that they hadn’t done enough to protect the females during the École Polytechnique massacre. It was suggested that they should have intervened or at least distracted the shooter and that by not doing so, they abandoned the women. These are ordinary citizens facing absolute terror that deserved nothing but compassion and support. We need not to judge but to commit to helping one another and providing a safe, compassionate container for healing.

Individuals must come together as a society to make change. If you or someone you know is in need of support, please reach out. There are free help lines available 24/7 (such as The National Domestic Hotline: 1-800-799-7233) and professional counsellors a phone call away. We are here to help.

Wishing you a gentle journey,

Jennifer Brum

November 16th – A Day to Remember

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https://youtu.be/R28_P1AR_Dg

Since 2007, the third Wednesday of November has been set aside for Canadians to pause and remember those who have lost their lives or been seriously injured on Canadian roads. This year, the National Day of Remembrance for Road Crash Victims falls on November 16th.

The statistics for dying or being seriously injured in a car crash in Canada are staggering. On average, one person dies every five hours on Canadian roads. That’s 5 people every day, 37 people every week, and more that 160 people every month. In fact, each year in Canada, almost 1,900 people are killed in road crashes and another 165,000 are injured. The victims are not only those killed or injured, they are the friends, families and colleagues.

I would like to also bring attention to the first responders who often struggle with post traumatic stress after working the scene of a motor vehicle accident. This includes the 911 operator who first receives the call, the firefighters, paramedics, and police who rush to the scene of the accident, as well as the doctors and nurses who care for the injured victims upon arrival at the hospital. The police also have the heart-wrenching responsibility of informing the families of their devastating loss. These roles and responsibilities can take a huge toll on mental health and unfortunately this toll can have a ripple effect on the spouse, children, extended family, friends, and colleagues. Sadly, according to the Tema Conter Memorial Trust, at least 153 first responders have died by suicide in 2016 so far. On November 16th, I feel it’s important to also take a moment to acknowledge the courage and sacrifice first responders make as they step into the unknown each and every day to serve the public.

There are 4 key high risk factors that lead to crashes and all are preventable.

  • Impairment – use of alcohol and prescription, over-the-counter and illicit drugs. Drug impaired driving is on the rise and is now rivalling alcohol impaired driving. Impairment also includes natural causes such as fatigue or distracted behaviours.
  • Distraction – when the drivers attention is diverted from the task at hand the diversion reduces the driver’s awareness, decision-making capacity, and the ability to react. The result is an increase in the risk of driver error, near-crashes, and crashes. A common example of this is texting while driving.
  • Occupant protection – failure to wear a seatbelt and having proper occupant restraints
  • Speed and aggressive driving – driving faster than the legal limit and other driver behaviours can put other road users at risk of injury and contribute to crashes and casualties.

The National Day of Remembrance for Road Crash Victims is a day to remember those who have been killed or injured but it is also intended to be a powerful reminder to drive carefully. The alternative can be devastating not only for those directly involved in the crash but for the families, friends and colleagues of all people involved.

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